Ever since I have discovered my psychic abilites and senses, I have taken a journey into the paranormal world. Everything from psychometry to palmistry, I have asked and practiced most of the psychic senses. With every new experience, I have been thrust deeper into the psychic world and have formed more questions than answers. I have had great advice from fellow sensitives and psychics alike and I thank them all.
In the beginning of my journey, I knew little or nothing about the paranormal or psychic senses. But little by little I have developed my psychic side more and more. I have read people that I don't know to my friends with photos and I have put one into shock. Recently however, I have noticed a slow down in my abilities. I am wondering now if all that I have learned and experienced have been for not. How and when does someone with abilities know that they have fully developed their skills? Maybe there is really no way of knowing when your abilities are here to stay without hearing from your guides. I haven't even learned who are my spirit guides are. I am now questioning my path into the psychic world. Maybe this is not for me and my guides are telling to me stop and concentrate on something else? But when this started, I really had a strong sense that this was the road to take. Everything was so vivid and blatant to my mind and it seemed that the messages that I was receiving were a very permament facet of me.
When I had my first psychic moment I was awakening from a nap. I suddenly saw a house that looked like a cabin somewhere in this world or should I say psychic world. I was slowly going towards this cabin/house and then I was inside. I couldn't believe what I was 'seeing' as I blinked my eyes several times to see if it would go away. But it wasn't going away. Then I could sense that I was headed for a multi-paned window inside this house. It seemed to me that I recognized this room that I was in since it looked very familiar. I was here before! But right before I went through the window, I heard two people talking to each other behind me or it seemed to be behind me. The male voice was telling the female voice that I should stop before I go through it. The femail voice told the male voice that it was okay. I could handle it and it wouldn't hurt me. As soon as she said this, I was on my way through the window like osmosis or something like that. I couldn't stop myself or it felt like I had no control over my mind or my body, I just kept going. When my head went through, I could 'see' something. I wasn't anywhere near the house I was just in but I was hovering over a heavily forested area. There was a dirt road that was running through it and there seemed to be a large rock or boulder on the side of this road. I was hovering over the area and looking down as a bird would be. Suddenly, I had a flash image of an aquaintence of my mother's. I couldn't figure out exactly what she had to do with this but her image kept flashing in my mind.
I suddenly saw a small body near the large boulder. It was laying there lifeless looking and very pale. I didn't get too close to see the body's details but it looked like it was just kind of thrown there. When I was looking at the body, I started to feel a strange sensation in my groin area. It wasn't a pleasant sensation but one of a penetration like a rape and then it felt like a tremendous fluid was running out of my groin area. I suddenly had thoughts that the 'fluid' was either tremendous amounts of blood or other bodily fluids. I turned away from the view and I was facing my tv in my room that was on a national news channel. They were airing a news bulletin about a missing young girl and the police were pleading with the person who took her to please bring her back safe and sound. Then they aired her photo. That's when I got the messge. The body that I was seeing and the unpleasant sensation that I had felt was actually coming from the little girl through mind messages to me! I automatically knew that she was in spirit now and was not alive anymore. I was also getting a pressure headache and this feeling made me think it was some kind of blunt trauma to the head that killed her. I was very new at trying to 'read' the messages that were given to me. Well, not knowing anything about the paranormal or the psychic abilites, I didn't know what to make of all this. I didn't know what I could do to help her situation and maybe finding her. All I could do what sit and wait like everyone else.
One week later, the police announced that the body of the little girl had been found. I was listening intently to the details that the police were giving to the public through the news media. They said she was found on Moore's road and then suddenly I knew what the image of my mother's aquaintenence had meant. The aquaintenence's last name was Moore and I was being shown her to get the name of the road where the body was. The police also had said that she was brutally raped and was strangled or suffocated to death. The pressure headache that I was experiencing wasn't from blunt force trauma to her head but the sensation of being strangled or suffocated and the oxygen not getting to the brain. From this one incident, I learned that when I see images of family friends that have no connection to who I am reading, they are shown to me for either name recognition or some other reason like location. Well, as soon as the news broadcast was over I felt a small hand slap me on the knee. To me it was the little girl's spirit telling me "Told ya so!" almost like an admonishment of spirit kind.
This event happened in February 2010. Ever since I have been visited by other child spirits through thoughts and 'images' that were in my head and their stories have always been on the news broadcasts. Others, I have gotten ideas of what happened to them just by looking at their photos that the news put on the screen for anyone to help find them. This all became very intense for awhile. I was getting not only children but adults too after a while. All the adults were victims of murder and local cases.
One in particular was a local teacher that had gone missing and then her body was found behind a grocery store. I was watching the local news broadcast and they put her picture on the screen for anyone . Maybe someone out there had seen her somewhere. When I was looking at the photo, I could 'see' her trying to tell me something. It was like a double exposure of the photo but one image was animated and moving! Her mouth was trying to mouth a something. I couldn't 'hear' her words so she was mouthing in a very exagerated way. Almost like she knew that I couldn't hear her so she had to do that. I tried to read her lips but it was very hard. I knew that she had passed into spirit when I saw all of this but the police again were trying to find a live person. When they did find her body, the news said the police had arrested the husband for her murder and his name was Mark. I really believe that she was trying to tell me the name of the person who did this and she was very 'excited' about telling me the name. I think her spirit had thought that her assailant would get away with what he had done to her.
These two examples and many more over the last two years have made me realize that I am a 'sensitive' and very intuitive to the spirit world. But like I said earlier, the abilities have slowed down and it makes me second guess if I have gone down the right path. I have been telling some people that I may be psychic or at least sensitive because I think this is all awesome, and now some of these people are expecting me to be psychic. Maybe one day I will figure this all out and it will come to me like a flash flood of psychic images or sensations. Maybe one day I can actually explore the world of mediumship and help the living understand their loved ones and what happens to them once they pass into another plane. Right now I am self doubting myself and my abilities. This blog was just a little snippet of what my mind is going through right now.